Voice of a distant star (part two)

her:
Dear Narcolessia, I’m at Pluto now, the end of are system. It’s been six months since I’ve left Earth, I’m talking my time.The Lausitheu Aremode has followed the Tarstion survey all the way to Jupiter, bust still no sign of them. I have to be honest, I almost wish we never found them at all. . . then i could come back to you.

As she texts her messages to Narcolessia she receives a warning alert saying that the Tarstion were comfirmed at 12 o’clock and that there distances is twenty thousand. As this is happening they are get tracer ready for battle as tracers 1-4 are being prepared for dispatch, as they enter their first battle with the Tarstion.

As she getting ready to dispatch she starts to talk to herself, telling herself that “this is it”, as a way for her to get herself ready for the battle that was about to commence. As she is launch in to battle, she breath slightly heavy, as she get the warning light while being attack by the first wave of Tarstions, and without warning she has already receive damage by there first attack.

Seeing how they were coming back for another round, she quickly turns the table around, with all three targets in her sight. She say with a grin on her face “my turn now”, as she fires off a barrage of missiles there way. Taking down two of them, she misses the third one as it comes back around and get close and personal to her, as she is stun and can’t move away from it. She has a face to face stare off as the Tarstion. It starts to spread itself out and wraps itself around her. Being face to face with it she doesn’t know what to do and then it happens, The Tarstion shows her it’s eye,and as she see this, she screams out as she fires off a shot into its face killing it.

Breathing even heavier then before, from what just happen, she receive a message from the Lausitheu saying that the there was a group of Tarstion not far from them and that they would be doing a light year warp and that all tracers should come back to the ship immediately. As she hearing the message from the Lausitheu, she is searching for her cell phone, and by the time she find is, she is once again shot at by enemy fire. She try to fire back but misses, as she is desperately trying to make it back to the ship she get another message telling her to come back to the ship immediately. she tells herself that she trying to, but fears that they will leave her behind. As the enemy get closer to her she uses an energy blade and slices the Tarstion right down the middle splitting it in two. She rushes to the Lausitheu, as she barely makes it back just in time for the warp jump.

mean while back on earth Narcolessia still waits patiently for her message, but is so unaware of what she is going through… and back in space she learns that the ships have warped out and that they don’t have a way o get back to the earth just yet as they make it to Searouls. She all of this as she continue to finishes her message and sends it off to Narcolessia.

her:
forty eight hours to write something that will take more than a year to reach him. god… from Searouls it will be eight years one way. oh Narcolessia, don’t forget about me.

Back on Earth, much time has passed and days come and go,it’s just another day like any other,tho on this day the sky’s are gray and cloudy, as it’s raining hard. Narcolessia finds himself caught in the rain as he makes his way out of the rain

him:
Season come and go, and now summer here again. Winter, last year i quite waiting for mail from Narcolepsy. A year , who could blame me.

Narcolessia makes his was to the bus stop, a place where he holds so many memories of her. He sigh with relief as he sits back as he waits for the rain to stop.Sitting there lost in though, his phone rings with a new messages.

him:
It’s her, she alive
after this the Lausitheu will go into warp drive into Searouls

her:
8.6 life years away, by the time you read this i’ll already be there, and now it will take eight years and seven months to receive mail. . . I’m sorry . . . it breaks my heart

Both:
there so much space between us . . .

Plurking for a year and then some

Yoko Kanno-Requiem

It’s not everyday that you run into a website that really just . . . well I’m not sure but whatever it Plurk seems to have “it”, and now I’ve been on it for over a year, and I know that must not seem like a big deal, but in a strange way it is for me. I mean I’ve been on many other websites like Myspace, Facebook, and YouTube just to name a few and also been on other websites for a much long period of time but I guess with Plurk there just something more personal to it, and I would say if there was any other site that come close to it would be Twitter, and funny thing is, that where this adventure started from.

Back in 2008 on February 3 is when I first started this micro blogging thing. . . umm you if i can just take a min out of this story, but i just have to say wouldn’t be more like your updating on the events that are happening to you in the here and now then blogging about it what would be past tense of the events that are happening now hmm. Well not that I jump way off from what I was even talking about , let get back to the story at hand. Well anyways I was on there for a few months and at the time i was having some issue with some people (that so another story for another time) and also at the time Twitter was having some major issue , let just say when you have a group of people bitching about Twitter being down half the day every other day, your get sick of it too, so needless to say I was looking for something new, and I did try other sites but they were meh. Then as if it was out of the blue one of my friends were talking about this site called Plurk , and the first thing I’m think of is “where do they get the names for some of these sites.” Well anywhoo I did take a look at it, and said “well . . . what the hell not like i have anything to lose” and on June 2, 2008 I made my account and started plurking ” and that still sounds wrong”

Now with all of my time being on there, I’ve seen a lot of thing go down. both the high times and low times, and I was even mixed up in some of it, and with the time that i’ve been on there I’ve even made some really close friends, but at the same time I’ve had some falling out with a lot of people as well. For one reason or another,some relationship with people are best left alone, however i hold no ill will towards the friends that I’ve lost over the time that I’ve been there, but strangely tho I miss them. I guess that must be strange to hear, but the connection that you make with the people on plurk is much different then on other sites. Almost like your really getting to know person first hand. Tho that not to say the same thing can’t be done on other sites, but the level of emotions seem to be a lot higher on plurk then on other sites. When I think back on all the people that I became friends with, there are some that really stand out from others and those people I love them, and there really no other way to say it but that my heart truly goes out to them. So it breaks my heart when some of these people are missing , it feel like apart of my hear has been ripped out, and if for some reason any other them see this blog i hope they know that I miss them and I’ll wait for them to return.

Sometime I still can’t even believe that I’m still on plurk, with all my ups and downs I’ve had over the pass year, and can’t forget al the times I took off and then came back to it , but in some strange way it became a part of my life.Where I really get to show just who I am , and at the same time learn about myself and those around me, and without a doubt I’ve had a few life lessons , and I’m sure there be more to come in the future.

Voice of a distant star (part one)

(before I tell this story , i would like to say that I can’t take full credit for the work , if anything i can only take 25% of the work. Everything else was from something that I saw a few nights ago and wanted to put it in text form, so i give all the credit to Makoto Shinkai , tho i hope that you all enjoy this story.)

she said ” I’m going to be up there some day”

*and with those words some day came with in a blink of an eye, because before anything had happen she was up there, just like she said she would, as she now flying around in the tracer on a daily training mission looking for her target, and with out warning her target appears shouting at her. she moves out of the way missing the targets fire (her: there you are) and with those words she fires of and on slot of missiles at the target , but missed , and with out a second notice she come back shouting at ( her: come on) and this time hitting her target …

her:
Dear Narcolessia, On Mars it was none stop training, these ships are massive, and it is so hard to learn everything that controls them, and I used to bitch about my sword in Kendo class, but you know me. I’m top in my group. The sight seen here is fantastic. It so strange seeing these things in real life. you can take a picture of something and it never does it justice. I think about that sometime, when i see a picture of you. The Tarstion kill everyone in the first survey unite here, but we manage to retrieve some of their own technology, it may give us the edge we need.

The Lausitheu is amazing, home to me now. By the time you read this Mars will be just a memory. Were at jupiter now. My god the clouds, but the fluxes tub between Io and Jupiter, you have to see it to believe it

*On what it seem to be a sunny afternoon, he fast asleep with his cell phone in hand, as all of a sudden his phone rings with a new text message, waking him up as if it was a sign of life, as he read the message from that he holds dear to himself.*

him:
It’s her. She was a friend of mine in school, I though we would be together later but, well things change. She on Jupiter now, army. and me I’d bombed the self defence force. looks like vocational school for me. I don’t have a job, don’t have a goal. She was always so strong, and i was strong when i was with her. Now I’m weak, two of her messages arrive, then I get weaker.

her:
Finally leaving Jupiter, you know these messages are being monitor, and our final destination is classified, so listen it will take longer…

him:
…and longer for these messages to reach you, and this one should take, what half a year still…

her:
…call me, I know this 20th century air mail isn’t perfect, but it’s all we got.

him:
Two semesters down, and still no word, and everyday it’s the same thing* he checks his phone for a new message but hears only ” you have no messages” Everyday I make a vale, don’t check today, just wait a day or two then check. * a few days has pass and as he checks his phone he still get “you have no messages” Everyday the same message… no message

Midnight Passion- a path into one’s sanctuary

Far away in the moonlight are my highest aspirations, i may not be able to reach them, but i will never give up, because i can always look up to them, and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow to were they lead, this voice calls to me, and said that there is no such place as paradise, even if i search to the end of the earth, there nothing there, no matter how far i walk it will be the same road that just goes on and on, but in spite of what that voice said, why am i so driven to find it, my mine flows like no other as i set here were the water and sand meet, i say to myself “will this night be the last night that i see the moon with all of her beauty”, i stand up with my own two feet with my head held high, to see a sky with nothing in it but the beauty of phenomenon of stars, tears flow form out of my soul, and i say ” i will not stop till i find paradise”, and as i walk this path, I’m not alone, because as i walk in the moonlight, where she will all ways be in my heart

From Then To Now

Hammock-Floating Away In Every Direction

It’s been a while the last time I had something to write about for my Tumblr, and with all this time I’m still not sure what  I could really even talk about. The only thing that seem to be on my mind is the events that happen in the pass few weeks that has happen in my life. I guess a good starting point would have to be christmas, not to say that anything bad happen but on that day. It was just that I spent it like I always do, alone. If there was anything that I truly wanted for christmas it would be this. For all of my family to be together on that day. Tho I was that with my dad and his mom/ my grandmother, only after everything was said and done, I honesty just wanted my mom to be home, but I guess that was just not meant to be. In fact she didn’t get home till Jan 4, 2009. so not only did she miss christmas, but she also miss new years too. The only thing that I could even feel was a strong pain of numbness, but I kept that from my father to see, as I smile and showed him my thanks. Altho deep down I just  really just wanted to cry.

About three days after christmas my father came into my room and dropped  yet another boom on me. Now the first one happen before christmas, and that was about a family member on my father’s side of the family that had passed away. That person was  my father uncle, and my great uncle. Altho hearing this I really couldn’t say anything. I just looked into my fathers eyes, as he looked in to mine, and we each walked away from each other as if we had said everything we needed to say to each other. Tho I was there for my father cause he was closer to him than I was. That because then tho I did know him, and had meet him. It was only for a few times during my life, however the memories that i did have of him were both few and unclear to me.But for the boom that he was about to dropped on me hit a lot closer to home. For he told me that he might have diabetes, and when I heard him say that I dropped everything I was doing to hear what he had to say, but at the same time I couldn’t even move as he was telling me this.I had asked him when did he find out about this. His replied to me was a week ago.
From that time he told me,and even now I just don’t know what to think about anymore. I just feel that it was my fault, that I had something to do with this. Tho I know that it’s not I still feel at fault. It wasn’t until my mom came home that they went to go see the doctor, that  they found out that he had type two diabetes. Tho when they got back he seem to act like he always do. As if nothing had happen, but he couldn’t even tell me that he had it, but rather  my mom told me what was going on. I just didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to learn more about diabetes to see what I could do to help my father.
A few day later I over heard my mom talk on the phone with one of her sisters, and from what I heard someone had passed away. When my mom got off the phone I’d ask her who was it that passed away. she looked at me, and said that it was one of my cousins that had passed away, I then asked her how did it happen, her replied was. ” They don’t know ,but they found him dead in his bed.” Now unlike my great uncle, I really didn’t know my cousin that all, so I guess you could say that I wasn’t as sad when I heard of his passed away. Tho I still felt a pain from it.

Even with all of that happening around me, there was even more issue going on at this time, and they were  school my job, and my laptop. With school it went down like this. I had lost all of my information, but this time around it was because I had it all on my laptop, and at this time my it was dead, so when it went so did all my information along with it. On top of that I had no way of getting down to the school, because my car was also dead. The only bright side with all of that was it give me a little bit more time to have everything  ready for the summer classes, altho I really wanted to be going to school now, but it looks like I’m going to have to wait just a little bit longer to go. As from my job it just that my hours keep getting cut, but that happening everywhere now, but it’s now getting to the point where I hardly even go to work anymore. This week alone I haven’t even been to work yet. but i’ll be working tomorrow and on Fri. and that it. The only thing that I can think to do is to find another job, but a lot of places are not hiring, and with my car down I can’t really go out to really find something. Tho first I need to get my drivers license, and that need to happen soon.

Now as all of this was happening around me, my MacBook just died on me. Not really to much of a big deal, but it was a big lost to me. Not to say that I live off of my laptop or anything like that, but  because of it I did lose a lot of my stuff, and that is what hurt me, but  what hurt even more was that I was disconnected to all of my friends, because it was by far the best way to get a hold of me.
(This is what happen.) One night I was on plurk / twitter and had passed out while my laptop was still running, and when I got up the next morning my laptop was freezing on me, so I just turn it off and restarted it. The next thing that happen was I hit the power back on, and this white screen with a question mark flash appeared on my laptop screen. I didn’t know what was going on and I try everything I could think of, hell I even trying to reinstall it, but not even that was working. I even went as far as calling for tech support, but not even they could help me, so I had to go back to the mac store where I got it from, but here was yet another issue. I needed to make an appointment just for them to even look at my MacBook. then when I did have an appointment  they told me that my hard drive was lost, and the only answer they could give me was that they didn’t know how that could happen, and the only think I could think is ” how in the hell do you not know”  I mean it there job to fix these kind of issue and there going to sit there and tell me that they don’t know why my laptop can’t find my hard drive. The only thing I could ask was “Is there anything you can do” the man replied with ” we can wipe it out, but your lose everything.” but from were I stand I had already lost everything, so I said to go ahead. Within about 6 or 7 days later I had my MacBook back, and I didn’t wast a min when I got it back cause I spent about over 304 hours trying to get everything back , so for about 3 weeks of working on my laptop I’m now around 86% from 100%, so i’m almost done, and that time where I didn’t have a laptop I use my iTouch,psp,ps3,xbox360, & wii, just so I could be online to stay in touch with friends and to let people know what happen.

I can sit here and say that 2009 has not been to much of a good year for me so far, and I almost wanted to give up but thankfully I have my friends to help me with this hard time that I’m going through at this point of my life.
this year is really going to test me, and I can only hope for the best

something that I’ve bee saying to myself
“Tho things might look bad, there always someone else that has it harder that you, so try to live your life with your head held high so that you can see your better tomorrow

chaotixfusion / rio

THANKFUL

Hear we are yet again on another Thanksgiving day. For what it worth I could list all the thing that I’m thankful for , like my family,heath ,& ect, but that not what I want to talk about tonight.From the time that I got up this morning, to at this moment I’ve just been taking the time to focus my concentration on one thing, and that would be my friends. This entire day was mostly spent by thinking about the memories of each of my friends. It goes without saying, but I am truly bless to have such wonderful and amazing people that I’m proud to call my close friends. I can honestly say that I love each and every one of them, because they each have helped me out in many different ways that I’m just truly grateful for.

From both the good and bad time, my friends have been there to motivate, support , and even comfort me when I really needed someone to be there. weather it be over the phone, on an IM webcam, or the many sites that I happen to be on, there has always been someone there to help me along my way, and I appreciate everything that each of my friends tries to do for me. Weather it was showing me something that I didn’t see before, or explaining information, or even trying to help guide me to become a better person, i have my friends to thank for it, and I just want to say thank you all for everything that you have done for me, you truly have made me into a better person.

Happy Thanksgiving , and stay cooly

chaotixfusion/Rio

Believe in Oneself

At time I really feel as if my art is nothing. That my own ability are short to nothing. I believe at every artists feels this was, or at lest hits a wall such as this from time to time, but one way or another each artists finds there way to bounce back. I myself have to ament that I’ve hit this wall far more time than I would care for, and with each time it would be so hard to bounce back, or get back on my feet. For what every reason I would just lose faith in my own ability and skills and not just with art but in anything that I would do weather it was writing, music, or even the thought of if I was even a good person or friend I would just break down. I’ve now come to realize that what this was for myself was signs of my own depression. I can’t really say what it is that makes me feel that way, or why I even get this was. The only thing I can even think of is that it’s a mind battle that I have with myself, and I know that must sound crazy, but it the only thing that really make any kind of sense.

Back when I was 22 I was super stressed out. Everything that I would try to do would blow up back into my face, it was by far one of my worst day of that year, but that night I sat there with a pencie in my hands just trying to think of what to draw. I must of stayed up way pass then I should of, cause it was nearly the next day, and there was still nothing on the paper. I think took a deep breath and turn on some music, and with my eyes close I said to myself.”you can do this” and I started to draw. When I was finished I just felt so proud of myself, and till this day I use this picture to remind myself that I can do anything as long as my heart and mind are both clear and calm, and that i have the faith to truly believe in myself, I’ll be able to succeed. The name that I came up for this piece was “Believe in Oneself” because it showed and taught myself to believe in myself.

Stars of Collision

As I’ve said before photoshop is not my friend. It’s like we have a love/hate relationship. I hate working on it cause there to much going on, and it loves to give me a headache. Anyways before I even use photoshop on this I was working on this with paint, so i can make it flip or have that mirror effect. Now I’m sure there a way to do that on photoshop, but I’m not willing to fight with my laptop and lose yet another battle, but I must say when I did this, it was in a set, and out of all of them, I liked this one the most. and I’ll try to upload the set as soon as I can, that is if I can find it again.

This road that we call life

They say it’s a first time for everything, and this is no exception to myself. For weeks it’s seem that I’ve been lost in my own head trying to get this blog out. For whatever reason I just couldn’t find a good starting point. I’m sure I could of talked about my day to day life, or any special events that has been going. However I felt that might be jumping the gun just a bit, if I were to start talking about that without an introduction of myself, and with that lets get the ball rolling.

Just to save face , finding the right words to describe myself is anything but easy, You could say that I’m everything and that I’m nothing all at the same time. I’m truly am someone that thinks outside of the box, and yet I’m able to relate to all sides. From as long as i can recall I’ve always saw things in a different light. As if I was seeing without seeing.I’m sure there more that I could say, but like I said before, trying to finding the right words is just not easy for me to do, but I’m sure as time goes on, were see more and more of the person that I really am.

I’m currently 23 , and I’m still trying to find just who I am. I’ve notice that the road of trying to find one’s is anything but easy, and for what it’s worth, it feels as if I’ve been on this journey for a life time, and I’m truly blessed to have amazing and truly caring friends along side me, that are gliding or at lest helping me to find my way, and hopefully I’ll make it on this road we call life, and have many new adventure along the way.

Beautiful Junkie

This was art work that I did a few years back. I still don’t have a name for it tho, but if I had to call it something it would be “Beautiful Junkie”.
The origin was done by Joycesu, a friends that I have on MySpace. I had asked her if it would be alright If I could redo some of her art work. She gladly said yes and love what I was able to do with it, and as you can see for yourself my version was surely a favorite of not just Joycesu and myself , but many others that have seen it.