When a dream seems real is when your heart brakes down and cry. . .

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, that you feel and touch, what if you could also hear what was going on. Have you ever had a dream of a tomorrow that hasn’t happen yet, or where you relive a moment in your pass and could change what happen, I happen to have a lot of dreams like that, tho more on my pass to where I wish that I could change some of the events that happen to me, and last night I had such dream.

As some might know last year I lost my dog from a tumor that burst inside of her, to where she died in my arms. ( I’m still messed up from that), and most likely are some new reason as to why I have a mixer of insomnia and narcolepsy, or even the reason why I have an erratic slept patterns.

Tho last night I had a dream about the time where I lost Missy, but it felt so real, as if it was happing right now. However this time I was able to save her life. Tho the true reality kicked in when I had awoken from my dream to see that she wasn’t there. My eyes filled with tears missing her all over again, as if it just happen again, but for a moment I could feel her right next to me, and I still do.

I know that I’ve never been able to talk about that day, or the things that happen after, and maybe the reason for this dream was telling me that the time has come for me to finally talk about. Tho a part of me still isn’t ready, but maybe I’ve waited long enough. I am sorry if this at all seem like I’m dwelling on this, but it not something that I can get over , death has a real hold on me and loosing Missy was one blow I was never ready for, it been 9 months now but still the pain is still with me.